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Jan. 21st, 2010

Eek! It's been a long time. Twitter has taken over my short rantings and confessions.

So... between my last entry and now I...
- moved into a real apartment (no on campus crap)
- adopted two adorable cats, Tippy and Gizmo
- Steven moved in :D
- started another semester at school

Just been doing research, school stuff, and spending time with Steven and the kitties.

I thought to post because yesterday we went to see Motion City Soundtrack at this neat little record store around 15 minutes away called Vintage Vinyl. The only other times I've seen them I've been really far away and there were a whole bunch of people, so this was really cool. Somehow we were almost next to the stage, maybe 15-20 feet away. I didn't realize it was acoustic until we got there. It was soooooooooooo good. Especially "Disappear."

And Steven from Steven's Untitled Rock Show was there. Is that show even on anymore? He gained a lot of weight (just in his belly, he looks pregnant) and he seems really jaded. His jokes weren't funny. The questions he kept interrupting the performance with were stupid. I went to hear their music and watch them perform, not to find out what their favorite ice creams are.

But overall it was great and they signed my cd booklet after. The bouncer guy was shoving people through the line pretty fast. I can't blame them since they had some people waiting outside and it was pretty cold. A picture would've been cool, but the "Hi!" from Justin and "How are you??" from Matt was good enough :) It was fun.

And poor Steven stood out in the cold with me (twice, once to get in and once for the signing) and he doesn't even like them. He's such an amazing boyfriend. I told him I'd watch one of his movies with him... not looking forward to that, lol.

But anyways, that's pretty much it for now. Back to work for me!

Bambooooozle

So for some reason the Silverstein signing really amused me...

Merch-type guy: Want to buy a limited edition Silverstein shirt? It's $15.
Me: Sure! I'm sure you only have guy sizes huh?
Merch-type guy: Yeah.
Me: Okay, a small *money exchange*
Merch-type guy: Make sure you have them number it, there's only 100.
Me: Umm... which one?
Merch-type guy: That'd be this guy right here *points to Paul*
Me: *hands shirt to Paul* apparently you're supposed to number this for me.
Paul: *numbers shirt* want me to sign it?
Me: NO!! *grabs shirt* This one *hands Bamboozle shirt* Thanks!! *attempted saying thanks to Bill after he signed it but he either didn't hear or ignored...
Josh: *signs shirt then looks at it*
Me: Are you looking at my shirt???
Josh: Yeah... it has the clown faces in the stomach.
Me: It's awesome, isn't it?
Josh: Yeah.
Me: It's even more awesome now!
Josh: *smiles*
Shane: *signs shirt* How are you?
Me: I'm GOOD! How are you????
Shane: Good.
Me: You guys were great!
Shane: *smile* Thanks *hands shirt back*
Me: THANKS!!!!! *runs to find Steve*

I was a little hyper at that point...

P.S. Every Avenue and Valencia were uber crazy amazingly awesome.

It had to come crashing down sometime.

Haven't updated in awhile because there hasn't been much, and things have been going rather well. School is alright. Lab was pretty good - we ordered a bunch of stuff and should be making nanoparticles soon. Everything with Steve is awesome. Everything is good with my friends.

This week has just been terrible. Absolutely terrible. It's getting to the end of the semester and that always sucks. I have two homeworks in Kinetics before that exam, I have a Transport exam next week and a presentation after that, and I have my Pharm Organic Nano presentation the week after next and the paper is due the week after that. And I had to give my 'nanonews' presentation this week... and it just seemed like no one found my paper credible... I didn't publish it, I just read it and thought it sounded interesting. It just made me feel really stupid for picking it if it didn't seem like the research was conducted well...

Then today there this big to do when I tried to figure out about getting our microscope fixed. Blah. Not even getting into that. Then I found out that we have that one HW due next week. Then I got a call from my mom saying that she slipped and told my dad about my tattoos... great.

That last one was just the icing on the cake... the breaking point. I love my dad, I don't want to hurt him, but I knew that telling him would just hurt us both. I'm not ashamed of my tattoos. I don't regret them one bit, I love them and plan on getting more... and I'm not going to let him convince me differently. My whole life has been some conflict of trying to be me and trying to be who he wanted me to be, because his approval was what I really wanted. I already have approval for what I'm doing, but I'd kind of like him to like who I am too.

He doesn't even want to talk to me. Ugh. Right when I thought things were going really well...

Survey thingy-ma-bobber

Taken from jonaht :D

Copy the note, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then tag a few good friends and family INCLUDING the person who sent it.

Three Names I go by:
1. Kristin
2. Kris
3. Krissie

Three Jobs I have had in my life
1. REU-er at Princeton
2. REU-er at UMD
3. PhD student at Rutgers (I get paid, its a job :P)

Three Places I have lived
1. Ohio
2. Maryland
3. New Jersey

Three Favorite drinks
1. Cappuccino
2. Dr. Pepper
3. G2

Three TV Shows that I watch
1. Big Bang Theory
2. Eleventh Hour
3. Numb3rs

Three Places I have been
1. Bahamas
2. Califorina
3. Washington DC

Three of my Favorite foods
1. Pasta!
2. Anything with chocolate
3. Pierogies

Three Things I am looking forward to
1. After my midterm tomorrow
2. Going to the zoo with Steve
3. Steph and Matt coming to visit in June :D

Three Pets you've had?
1. Fluffy (cat)
2. Rainbow (bird)
3. Tobias! (dog)

Three Saturday Morning Cartoons you used to watch?
(I can't remember what was on Saturdays, so I'll just go with cartoons in general :D)
1. David the Gnome
2. X-Men
3. Rocko's Modern Life

3. Three things in your purse/wallet?
1. Money
2. Business card for a tattoo place
3. debit/credit cards

Three things in your fridge?
1. Milk
2. Eggs
3. Pudding

Three things you HATE doing?
1. Studying
2. Cleaning
3. Homework

Three of your favorite resturaunts?
1. Red Lobster
2. Applebees
3. Perkins

It's been awhile...

I haven't written in over a month... figured I'd update.

Not too awful much going on... school is school. Transport midterm was last week - was terrible as expected. Kinetics midterm this coming Tuesday - not too awfully worried. Lab is still mostly papers at the moment... everything is getting set up, though.

I went home for a few days during spring break. It was nice to see my family and friends from home... and I got my guitar back from Jake. I'm not even going to get into that... lets just say he was really pissed and I thought it was hilarious.

And Steve and I have started dating. He's a far cry from Jake... aka sane and emotionally stable, lol. But I'm happy about all of that :)

And... I think that's it. Ahh, the life of a grad student.

Valentine's Day...

It's amazing that a day whose theme is hearts and love makes so many people depressed. Yeah, I agree, it does kind of suck being reminded that you have yet to find a guy (or girl i guess for the guys) that isn't a complete jerk... but you know, there are other kinds of love other than just romantic love. Sure, your friends and family might not give you flowers or a heart-shaped box of chocolates... but their love is just as worthy of celebrating.

*hugs*

Refreshing

I have not felt this much like myself in such a long time. And I don't remember ever being so happy and accepted by just being me.

As I said in the last entry... it just felt like he was changing me... whether he meant to or not. It was totally stupid of me to let it get that far... he was supposed to love me for me. And honestly... I think who I am is a lot cooler than who I was turning into.

So yeah... other than some subconscious attachments I still have to him... I'm doing quite well. I actually feel great. The only times it really hits me is if I think about calling him or texting him to see how he's doing or what is going to happen to my guitar.

I actually went out a couple of times this weekend and it was just awesome. I can't believe I was letting myself miss out on this...

So in short, I believe my decision was definitely the right one,and I'm entirely glad that I finally followed through with it.

:D

The sad ending of a chapter of life...

So I finally told Jake that I am not going back with him, no more negotiations. And while I feel it's for the best... now I feel so terribly and overwhelmingly empty. Every so often when I can get my head above water, though, I feel free. It felt like I wasn't me anymore, I was turning into who he wanted me to be... he says that's not his fault, but I think its a good reason to leave. I never used to be like this... I would want to go to concerts or just to the mall... and I was getting so much better socially until I felt like I had to box myself in to make him happy. He said that he worried and wanted to know where I was and stuff, but it got to a point where it felt like I had to ask him permission. I dunno. I just thought a lot last night and most of today and I just felt it... the "it's time to be over, you'll be alright, just do it," feeling. Now that I've done it I don't quite feel that way... but I'm pushing through hoping that it'll get better...

He will always be my first love.

*sigh*

So apparently the last few entries were "too personal" and I am once again single...

I feel weird...

First of all... thank you everyone for the nice comments. We did end up getting back together... I guess we'll see how things go now...

I got back to New Jersey last night. First day of classes today. Get to meet with my (hopefully) advisor tomorrow to talk about research. She's super nice and does some really neat stuff. I'm pretty stoked.

I've been listening to a lot of Bright Eyes again. It started on the way back yesterday... always puts me in a weird mood.

So from a musical standpoint, my current heroes are:
Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes)
Nick Thomas (The Spill Canvas)
Benjamin Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie)
Justin Pierre (Motion City Soundtrack)
Andrew McMahon (Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate)

And now back to reading Chem Reactor Designs...

As a side note, I was also pretty stoked that we're using the same book for my grad class that I used for undergrad. Nice way to save $60-$80 and already know a bit of whats going on :D

Oh! And Jake might be coming for Valentine's Day. I'm gonna hafta make some pretty sweet plans... I'm awfully excited :D